a new kind of weirdness.

so you know i have a house. it's a nice house, big and old. it's in a student neighborhood (which explains greatly the stories of awful bands, hot tubs in driveways, general stupidness in the 'hood thurs.-sat. nights), where many of the houses are big and old and occupied by students as opposed to families.

but now this house i love is up for sale in preparation for the move from the frozen tundra to ____________. today something weird went on in relation to the house being up for sale - 'caravan.' this is where various and sundry realtors from the area drive around looking at newly listed houses. i happen to be home this morning, which is good because the dogs don't generally take too kindly to strangers bursting into their home and hearth. so i've been present for the caravan, which has been mostly comprised of normal looking people who happen to sell houses; they've taken off boots or put on footies. they've padded around the house, smiling polietly at the me and the dogs; they've thanked me for my time, told me the house was charming or cute. fine, no problem.

and then, as the end of caravan approached, they walked in, two women likely in their late 40s, clothed in fur (fur!) coats and high-heeled boots (high heels! it's like 0! we've got snow on the ground - and not just a sprinkling! inches upon inches of snow!).

oh, they said, clomping up into the kitchen. can we leave our boots on?

and before i could say, uh, no, they clomped into the kitchen through to the dining room, with all its beautiful hardwood glory. they clomped through the house. they clomped upstairs. one got a call on her cell. she talked while she clomped. upstairs they spoke loudly to one another (well, one was on her phone, so i could understand how the other one had to yell at her to make sure she was heard).

oh, they said, surprised, it's so nice. i mean, look at these big rooms. the natural woodwork.
oh, they continued to one another. in this neighborhood, so nice. what a surprise.

i can hear you! i wanted to shout upstairs.

charming, huh? one asked the other.
yeah, the other replied. it is charming. the shock and awe was apparent.

they clomped back downstairs.

charming, they said in unison, in voices that said, quite clearly, what a surprise, voices that quite literally dripped with sincerity.
oh, hone, said the one on the phone, turning and clomping away, yeah, yeah, sushi is fine. what? oh, no, i'm not doing anything. just on caravan, you know. just looking at one or two little listings.

little. nice. she didn't mean the size of the house. oh, no. she certainly meant the asking price.