some friendly advice for the neighbors
Let's say you live in a big house with 20 of your closest pals. Let's say this house on one side faces a street that's in a neighborhood mixed with students, university employees, and families. Let's say this particular house backs up to a relatively nice lawn area that opens onto a winding river (well, creek, but a big creek, certainly too wide to jump across) and lovely green space and a lagoon, where the only neighbors are of the water fowl variety. Now, where should you and your friends decide, at around 8 o'clock on a Tuesday night, to build a bonfire and stand around playing hacky sack and getting drunk?
a) the back lawn space area that faces nature
b) the front yard area that sees a fair amount of traffic, both foot and vehicle, and where couches, on occassion, have known to be lit on fire
Obviously, if you're neighbors of Stella and me, you choose 'b.' It's the smart choice, right? I mean, c'mon. Cute girlies drivin' by can check you out. Guys who are not as cool as you can seeth with jealousy as they pass by. Old folks in the area can look on with envy. Dogs and cats who frolic past will surely wish you were their owners. And, yeah, police cars, concerned citizens, and the like will also likely notice THE BIG FREAKIN' BONFIRE in the middle of your lawn. Not in a fire pit. Not in one of those cool backyard wading-pool like structures made of non-flammable materials. ON YOUR FRONT LAWN.
So imagine the delight that overcame us when, rounding the corner with the dogs at the end of a dog walk, Stella and I behold the very large fire engine parked in the middle of the street, firemen in full gear standing in the yard, looking sternly at drunk idiots, shirtless (c'mon, guys! it wasn't even that warm!) and beer-laden. Oh, the joy. One can only hope the fine for starting a fire on a front lawn on a Tuesday night early spring is large and obnoxious.
Yes, I know, we sound years older than we are, but at least we would have the collective brainpower to start the fire out back.
Amateurs.
a) the back lawn space area that faces nature
b) the front yard area that sees a fair amount of traffic, both foot and vehicle, and where couches, on occassion, have known to be lit on fire
Obviously, if you're neighbors of Stella and me, you choose 'b.' It's the smart choice, right? I mean, c'mon. Cute girlies drivin' by can check you out. Guys who are not as cool as you can seeth with jealousy as they pass by. Old folks in the area can look on with envy. Dogs and cats who frolic past will surely wish you were their owners. And, yeah, police cars, concerned citizens, and the like will also likely notice THE BIG FREAKIN' BONFIRE in the middle of your lawn. Not in a fire pit. Not in one of those cool backyard wading-pool like structures made of non-flammable materials. ON YOUR FRONT LAWN.
So imagine the delight that overcame us when, rounding the corner with the dogs at the end of a dog walk, Stella and I behold the very large fire engine parked in the middle of the street, firemen in full gear standing in the yard, looking sternly at drunk idiots, shirtless (c'mon, guys! it wasn't even that warm!) and beer-laden. Oh, the joy. One can only hope the fine for starting a fire on a front lawn on a Tuesday night early spring is large and obnoxious.
Yes, I know, we sound years older than we are, but at least we would have the collective brainpower to start the fire out back.
Amateurs.
posted by lynda at 8:30 AM
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