babies are annoying
Stella and I decided to have breakfast out today. Well, actually I decided, late last night, after imbibing wine at our Oscars-viewing party, that we should have breakfast out today. Stella remembered, which was nice of her, so we're at breakfast and lo and behold, seated behind us are two women (one of whom smiled incessantly the entire time - seriously, she would not stop grinning from ear to ear, which leads me to state emphatically that the women is no doubt on a high dosage of antidepressants) and a baby who screamed and screamed and screamed all the way through breakfast. It wasn't a constant scream; oh, no, it was a now and again scream that came out of nowhere, was sprinkled with bits of something sounding like excitement, and of a pitch that must break glass somewhere. Did the smiling moron and her friend actually do anything about said bebe screaming? Did they pick him up? Soothe him? Offer him some more of their blueberry pancakes? No. Of course not. They just sat and ate their breakfast and drank coffee and chatted away, while demon spawn screamed. And screamed. And screamed.
It's important to remind those of you who have decided to have children of the following:
We hold our tongues, those of us who have chosen not to have children, so we won't be mistakenly perceived as, oh, you know, bitter, angry, 30-somethings who're sad and pathetic and who (whisper, whisper) are childless, but sisters with kids, here's a news flash: We hold our tongues because were we to let loose, we'd chew you up and spit you out - we are generally well-rested and not running after demon spawn. We keep up with our reading. We haven't lost our figures. We can do anything we want, when we want - and when we open our mouths to remind you of this, you will shrivel up into tiny specks of unfulfilled lives and lost dreams.
So please don't make it come to this. Quiet the kids up. Don't let them run all over the coffee shop, assuming everyone thinks it's cute and fun. It's so not. If I wanted a tyke to run after and cause general havoc and ruin my coffee time, I'd have one. When I'm paying $5 + for a latte, I want some damn peace.
It's important to remind those of you who have decided to have children of the following:
- not everyone wants children
- not everyone finds your child cute
- not everyone appreciates having their meal ruined while you chit chat away and allow the little bebe to effectively run rampant in the restaurant/bar/coffee shop
We hold our tongues, those of us who have chosen not to have children, so we won't be mistakenly perceived as, oh, you know, bitter, angry, 30-somethings who're sad and pathetic and who (whisper, whisper) are childless, but sisters with kids, here's a news flash: We hold our tongues because were we to let loose, we'd chew you up and spit you out - we are generally well-rested and not running after demon spawn. We keep up with our reading. We haven't lost our figures. We can do anything we want, when we want - and when we open our mouths to remind you of this, you will shrivel up into tiny specks of unfulfilled lives and lost dreams.
So please don't make it come to this. Quiet the kids up. Don't let them run all over the coffee shop, assuming everyone thinks it's cute and fun. It's so not. If I wanted a tyke to run after and cause general havoc and ruin my coffee time, I'd have one. When I'm paying $5 + for a latte, I want some damn peace.
posted by lynda at 1:05 PM
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