the problem with the stranglehold & karma
So I feel it's important to say that Stella & I really do get along well. We're housemates. We're friends. We're co-workers. I love her boyfriend (platonic love). We have awesome friends. But when Stella is distracted the house could be burning down and she wouldn't hear a word you're yelling at her.
Take yesterday. We drove the mall. This is really no small feat. The mall is not close. The mall is relatively far away and one must drive through oceans of highway to get there. Which we did. We drove those oceans. I leave for Spain on Wednesday and had some things to get, namely a pair of dansko clogs. So we go to the mall. We shop. We have giddy fun. I find some things for my trip. Inga returns some things (note: if you buy something at Anthropologie, make sure the anti-theft sensors are off - poor Inga has twice left two different Anthropologies, driven those oceans home, only to find the anti-theft sensors still one), we stop for a drink and dinner at some shitty pseudo Irish pub (note to people who live in the suburbs - if it's under 30 degrees do not, repeat, do NOT run around the parking lot of some shitty pseudo Irish pub in a halter top, pastel colored skirt, and heeled sandels. You will look like a moron. Honestly. Winter is winter - at least til May or daylight savings, whichever comes first). We then pick up coffee to go and head back to deal with the oceans of highways.
Perfect.
I'm driving. Stella is passengering. She's on the telephone, discussing Friday night plans with Dev. We'd been talking about cancelling plans with Garvey - we were supposed to meet up, but we were tired. We thought we could tell him traffic was bad and we were going to stop to wait it out; we just wanted to go home. Meanwhile, on the phone, Stella and Dev are catching up. Dev had attended a thingy-majig all day and had presented on fill-in-your-imagined-topic-here. He was relaying the events. Stella was very caught up in this conversation. I motioned toward the highway and say "where do I turn off?" She talks, motions vaguely with her arm. I steer in the direction of her arm. She remotions and points me back over the median, back to where I was. I swerve back to where I was. I ask "are you sure this is right? I don't know how to get back" and Stella says "uh, I think" - and she hangs up with Dev. We round the corner on the highway and voila - we're in a strangle-hold. 6:30 traffic heading into the city. Dead stop. And, of course, we have bypassed our exit by miles.
Now, it's important to note - I had no idea where I was going. I was relying on Stella for directions. She knew this. But when she's distracted...
So it took us forever to get home. Stella tried to convince me it was both our faults. Ha. But you know what it really was? Karma biting us in the ass. We'd been thinking of lying to Garvey, you know, the Zen Buddhist among us. The real Zen Buddhist. Great. The moral -- start even thinking about lying, and what you conjure comes true, and even if it gets you dinner out of it, it's bad.
Way to go Stella - the photos look awesome! Two digits awesome.
Take yesterday. We drove the mall. This is really no small feat. The mall is not close. The mall is relatively far away and one must drive through oceans of highway to get there. Which we did. We drove those oceans. I leave for Spain on Wednesday and had some things to get, namely a pair of dansko clogs. So we go to the mall. We shop. We have giddy fun. I find some things for my trip. Inga returns some things (note: if you buy something at Anthropologie, make sure the anti-theft sensors are off - poor Inga has twice left two different Anthropologies, driven those oceans home, only to find the anti-theft sensors still one), we stop for a drink and dinner at some shitty pseudo Irish pub (note to people who live in the suburbs - if it's under 30 degrees do not, repeat, do NOT run around the parking lot of some shitty pseudo Irish pub in a halter top, pastel colored skirt, and heeled sandels. You will look like a moron. Honestly. Winter is winter - at least til May or daylight savings, whichever comes first). We then pick up coffee to go and head back to deal with the oceans of highways.
Perfect.
I'm driving. Stella is passengering. She's on the telephone, discussing Friday night plans with Dev. We'd been talking about cancelling plans with Garvey - we were supposed to meet up, but we were tired. We thought we could tell him traffic was bad and we were going to stop to wait it out; we just wanted to go home. Meanwhile, on the phone, Stella and Dev are catching up. Dev had attended a thingy-majig all day and had presented on fill-in-your-imagined-topic-here. He was relaying the events. Stella was very caught up in this conversation. I motioned toward the highway and say "where do I turn off?" She talks, motions vaguely with her arm. I steer in the direction of her arm. She remotions and points me back over the median, back to where I was. I swerve back to where I was. I ask "are you sure this is right? I don't know how to get back" and Stella says "uh, I think" - and she hangs up with Dev. We round the corner on the highway and voila - we're in a strangle-hold. 6:30 traffic heading into the city. Dead stop. And, of course, we have bypassed our exit by miles.
Now, it's important to note - I had no idea where I was going. I was relying on Stella for directions. She knew this. But when she's distracted...
So it took us forever to get home. Stella tried to convince me it was both our faults. Ha. But you know what it really was? Karma biting us in the ass. We'd been thinking of lying to Garvey, you know, the Zen Buddhist among us. The real Zen Buddhist. Great. The moral -- start even thinking about lying, and what you conjure comes true, and even if it gets you dinner out of it, it's bad.
Way to go Stella - the photos look awesome! Two digits awesome.
posted by lynda at 5:33 PM
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