how to directions for the drive thru at starbucks.

Really, this applies to both those drivin' through and those servin' those drivin' through.

a. the drive thru line, mr. late model corvette, is not the place for flirting with your window-barrista. after you're handed your drink through the window, do not, i repeat, do not shift your car into neutral, lean over your window frame, and flirt. changes are i am in line behind you and a little pissy, getting pissier by the minute, while you get your flirt on.

b. if you need to flirt with the barrista, please park your car and go inside. the drive thru really should be for people who, uh, need to drive through because we specifically don't have time to flirt with the barrista.

c. to the barristas - please, please, please curb the enthusiastic compliments. they're getting old and, frankly, a little forced sounding. for example, last night, en route to the night class i teach, the barrista appeared at the drive thru window, did a totally exagerrated double-take and exclaimed, "oh, my god! that is such a cute car!" now it's true. my car is cute as a bug. but seriously. this follows the compliment of a week ago of a really super excited barrista who, upon handing me my drink, exclaimed, "oh, my god! that sweater looks so soft!" that, too, was true, but also a little creepy. i do not want my barrista feeling my sweater.

d. also to the barristas - no matter how many times you try and correct me by repeating my order back with your stupid cup sizes in place my correct word usage, i will not order a tall skim latter. it's small. the cup is tiny. we're at a chain coffee store. come on already.