for real?
While out running errands this morning in the land of the living dead, I stopped at Starbucks for a small skim latte (for the love of god, why, why, why call it tall? The cups are short). After I ordered, the highly caffeinated manager bounced over and announced they were having a special special today.
"That," she said, eyes wide, "means that when you order a tall drink today, you get a vente, which is a large!" She picked up the vente-sized cup.
"Oh, well, that's nice, but no thanks. I'd rather have the small." Listen, I know how much caffeine Inga needs on an early spring morning, even with daylight savings in effect. I mean, maybe if it were the dead of winter, below zero, and six a.m., the vente would hav been appealing. [random aside - I just asked Stella, grammar queen - seriously, she teaches grammar and she's kick-ass at it, if appealing has only one L. She says yes. Pauses, then says 'oh, but I always mess that one up.' Thanks, Stel.]
Silence hung between the manager and me, my 'no thanks' slowly dissolving. Beady little eyes bore holes into my soul. "What?" she asked, stringing out the letters.
"No, thanks. I'll have the small."
And girlfriend literally rolled her eyes, made a huffy little noise, and walked away.
Really? Hello? I mean, I shouldn't really be surprised, right? This is the place where blank stares greet a request for a cafe au lait. Misto, no problem, but throw out a name that, oh, makes sense, and it's like speaking in tongues.
So there you have it. This morning I was chastized for (gasp!) wanting a small coffee.
Someone out there, please, please, please - explain.
"That," she said, eyes wide, "means that when you order a tall drink today, you get a vente, which is a large!" She picked up the vente-sized cup.
"Oh, well, that's nice, but no thanks. I'd rather have the small." Listen, I know how much caffeine Inga needs on an early spring morning, even with daylight savings in effect. I mean, maybe if it were the dead of winter, below zero, and six a.m., the vente would hav been appealing. [random aside - I just asked Stella, grammar queen - seriously, she teaches grammar and she's kick-ass at it, if appealing has only one L. She says yes. Pauses, then says 'oh, but I always mess that one up.' Thanks, Stel.]
Silence hung between the manager and me, my 'no thanks' slowly dissolving. Beady little eyes bore holes into my soul. "What?" she asked, stringing out the letters.
"No, thanks. I'll have the small."
And girlfriend literally rolled her eyes, made a huffy little noise, and walked away.
Really? Hello? I mean, I shouldn't really be surprised, right? This is the place where blank stares greet a request for a cafe au lait. Misto, no problem, but throw out a name that, oh, makes sense, and it's like speaking in tongues.
So there you have it. This morning I was chastized for (gasp!) wanting a small coffee.
Someone out there, please, please, please - explain.
posted by lynda at 10:58 AM
2 Comments:
Oh, Inga. I think Berlitz offers a pocket-sized Starbucks phrase books. They even print them for grande- and vente-sized pockets.
What did I just do? That's right. I saw a mouse. As I sat to write a letter to Memphis, it ran out from behind the radiator and disappeared behind the bookcase. It emerged 45 seconds later and went back to the radiator and cracked molding. And what did I do? I shouted at it. I shouted, "This isn't your godd-mn toilet, you f-ck!"
Sigh.
-cK
I hate made up sizes. What hapened to little, meduim, and big? I refuse to spend money where it is manditory to use words like gaunt, mean, and portly. Also, If I ask for a black coffee, the proper response is not "what kind?" You know what I want. Just get me my coffee asshole!
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