haggis for the heart.
uli, my super favorite person in the whole entire world, wants us to visit scotland in november! yea, uli! i can't wait to go back to scotland. i've been, once before, with zeb, who is likely the most narcissitic person in the entire world. seriously. zeb was awfully good looking - wavy brown hair, melt-y brown eyes, broad shoulders. he dressed well. he was working on a master's in history back in the day. i knew wine. he knew suave. we both knew books.
back in the days pre-Sept. 11, when airfares in december to europe were 250 round trip, why wouldn't zeb and i have planned a whirlwind tour together?
in hindsight: because zeb's a jackass.
oh, so okay, scotland seemed okay. it wasn't until later, you know, when we hit paris that things began falling apart:
zeb declaring true love for our lesbian friend, admitting he'd kissed her before we left, declaring that he knew, just knew in his heart of hearts, that she wanted him, too. six or seven sake bombs later, it just didn't matter anymore. i spent my last night in paris bowled over, sitting along the banks of the seine, realizing i wasn't even nursing a broken heart; anyone full of himself enough to think a kiss would make a lesbian suddenly miss the quivering loins of a man was certainly too stupid for me.
i blame it on his inadaquate love-making skills. seriously, a girl can only make excuses for so long, zeb.
moral of this story? scotland with uli will rock. totally.
moral of zeb's story? our lesbian girlfriend totally...stayed a lesbian.
back in the days pre-Sept. 11, when airfares in december to europe were 250 round trip, why wouldn't zeb and i have planned a whirlwind tour together?
in hindsight: because zeb's a jackass.
- the highlights of our scotland/european tour together:
- a tour of scottish whiskys in the nice n' sleazy, glasgow, thanks to the scottish bartendress who'd spent some time in america.
- pulling into edinburgh late one night, mid-december, snow falling, a winter carnival , almost like a fairyland.
- zeb trying to pimp me out to a band in a pub off prince st. - notice i don't protest this memory too much - the lead singer was hot. machottistein, if you will.
- riding a train past lockerbie, scotland.
oh, so okay, scotland seemed okay. it wasn't until later, you know, when we hit paris that things began falling apart:
zeb declaring true love for our lesbian friend, admitting he'd kissed her before we left, declaring that he knew, just knew in his heart of hearts, that she wanted him, too. six or seven sake bombs later, it just didn't matter anymore. i spent my last night in paris bowled over, sitting along the banks of the seine, realizing i wasn't even nursing a broken heart; anyone full of himself enough to think a kiss would make a lesbian suddenly miss the quivering loins of a man was certainly too stupid for me.
i blame it on his inadaquate love-making skills. seriously, a girl can only make excuses for so long, zeb.
moral of this story? scotland with uli will rock. totally.
moral of zeb's story? our lesbian girlfriend totally...stayed a lesbian.
posted by lynda at 9:41 PM
3 Comments:
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paris - the city of love - seems to have a bad streak for love these days. dev and one of his former gal-pals bit the big one on a trip to paris too. remind me never to take a lover to paris -- maybe IN paris, but not to.
and, hey, paris is where tom cruise proposed to katie, oops, i mean kate, holmes.
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