great.

it's news like this that makes me really consider finding a sugar daddy. i mean, i'm stylish & smart. or maybe i could quit my job and go to law school? hmm. maybe it's not too late to go back in time, grow an extra 5 inches in height and a few cup sizes in the chest, and then i could be an international super model, raking in $10,000 to just get out of bed, and then it wouldn't matter if medicare or social security runs out well before i'm ready to retire. or maybe i could become a heroin addict and, you know, die young and crazy of a horrible overdoes, alone and destitute in some hellish backroom, rats scavenging off my decaying flesh, nibbling my finger nails. or maybe i could marry bill o'reilly. i bet he's got enough money to cover medical bills and the high lifestyle post-retirement. then again, maybe the heroin.