fiction for sure
classes are over. my grades are in. stella is a little snarkier than usual, as her grades are due tomorrow at 9 am. my creative writing students, for the most part, turned in really nice portfolios, except for the dude whose final story involves a girl in a bathrobe, disheveled and drunk, who we spend three quarters of story worried about, as the plot points seem to lean toward her having been raped. but nooooo. she's actually humiliated and aghast with herself for trying to masterbate with a drill and getting her clitoris stuck in the drill bit. uh huh. the story ends with her alone in an examining room, the laughing stock of the hospital. happily, it was a terribly written story, with little to no character development, no real conflict/resolution, and poor word choice, thus i was able to give it the grade it truly deserved.
stella posed a good question - why didn't dude decide to workshop this particular story? why did he save it for the portfolio?
and here's my advice for would-be fiction writers: just because your instructor is a girl who is relatively young and cute, don't assume you'll SHOCK and CONFUSE and INTIMIDATE her with stories about (gasp!) characters having sex!!!!! chances are that she's been having sex longer (and better) than you have and, given her exploits of the past, she won't be shocked by anything.
unless, of course, you turn in a badly written/conceived story about a girl masturbating with a drill. then your instructor will be shocked, but only because of how bad the writing really is.
stella posed a good question - why didn't dude decide to workshop this particular story? why did he save it for the portfolio?
and here's my advice for would-be fiction writers: just because your instructor is a girl who is relatively young and cute, don't assume you'll SHOCK and CONFUSE and INTIMIDATE her with stories about (gasp!) characters having sex!!!!! chances are that she's been having sex longer (and better) than you have and, given her exploits of the past, she won't be shocked by anything.
unless, of course, you turn in a badly written/conceived story about a girl masturbating with a drill. then your instructor will be shocked, but only because of how bad the writing really is.
posted by lynda at 3:19 PM
2 Comments:
Wow. What sort of drill bit are we talking about? Certainly not one of those carbide end mills. I mean, that would have taken pearl and hood right violently away, even with a flat, rounded mill end. And definitely not a router bit, lest she was trying to pierce herself, but that certainly wouldn't have gotten anything but blood stuck on the drill.
Or maybe the character went bitless and tried locking the drill teeth around her clit? Hmmm. Still doesn't work.
As for shock value, I think it died in Chaucer's day when he wrote the "Miller's Tale," which includes a man taking a red-hot poker in the bung. And that's no metaphor.
Chaucer was the Howard Stern of his day.
-cK
besos, muchos, ck! seriously, did this kid even have *any* idea what he was writing about? por favor.
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